5.2 Seconds....

Is exactly how long it takes for Poodle and Booch, from the moment they walk into a hotel room, to completely destroy said room. It starts with B picking up the phone and dialing. That prompts us to unplug the phone. Next she starts taking off her clothes to get changed. Into what, you ask? Why, jammies of course. While she's running around like a naked maniac looking for her jammies, Poodle has emptied the contents of his bag and suitcase all over the floor looking for who knows what. Then one or the other of them will start begging for a snack. Which reminds the other one that they are hungry too. Snacks come out. There are crumbs everywhere. Someone spills a drink. And like every other trip we've taken, this is how our weekend getaway to Austin began. If only this was the worst of it. But it's not. Not by a long shot.

Warning...this post is not for the faint of heart. It is graphic, disgusting, sad and funny all wrapped into one. Plus, it's really long. You've been warned.

This trip was presented to me as kind of an early birthday celebration. Lots of mommy activities…the scrapbook store, some outlet shopping, etc. One of my Sweet’s high school buddies owns a baseball training facility in Austin so he and Poodle wanted to get some baseball time in as well, but I was assured that it would be minimal. No biggie. I love watching my Poodle play ball. But, as luck would have it, Austin was cold and rainy all weekend. We decided it best if Boochie and I stay back at the hotel so she wouldn’t be subjected to the elements. Again, no biggie. The boys would be gone for an hour or two, tops. FIVE hours later they returned. The hours alone in the hotel room with my tiny friend may have been the longest of my life. Let me explain. The three of us adore Boochie, but she is extremely spirited. High maintenance, you might say. When the baseball lovers returned, we headed out for some scrapbook time (YAY!) and a nice dinner. By the time we got to the scrapbook store, B was fast asleep so I headed in alone while everyone else waited in the car. When I returned, we found a cute little Mexican restaurant to try for dinner. We got seated, ordered our drinks and that’s when it began. The spirited one was up and down and all over the place. Her daddy attempted to restrain her and a hissy fit ensued the likes of which I have never seen before. Obviously, she was escorted to the car while Poodle and I waited for our waiter to come back. We paid for our drinks and made a beeline for the door. My Sweet, not one to give up hope, drove to the closest shopping spot. We parked, got our girl situated in her stroller and headed towards the stores. At which point it started raining again. Not a deal breaker, right? Wrong. The stores were all out doors. I begged him to give up, to call it a day, and to admit defeat. He finally conceded. We came up with a plan to make a quick trip to the grocery store to find something to feed our wee ones. Luckily, he had booked a suite, so we had a kitchen and table back at the hotel. What could go wrong at the grocery store? To all of the innocent shoppers at the Randall’s in Austin this weekend that were subjected to hissy fit #2, we apologize. Booch was again quickly escorted out. We headed back to the hotel where we dined on a gourmet meal of soup (it was really yummy) and Chef Boyardee. I can basically skip the details of the rest of the weekend and just say that I lost count of all of the places Boochie had to be dragged out of kicking and screaming.

By the time we started home, we were all exhausted and beat down. The first half of the drive was uneventful. B slept a lot of the way and P was happy and content. The kids aren’t allowed to eat a lot of McDonald’s so when we stopped for dinner there, it was a real treat. Both kids ate great, drank all their milk and enjoyed the break from driving. We started back on our way and that’s when the trip took a really ugly turn. B’s little tummy couldn’t take all of the yummy. We suddenly found ourselves with a really, really bad situation in the back seat. We pulled over onto a very dangerous shoulder and attempted to clean up the entire back seat which was now covered in the contents of her stomach. As soon as things were manageable we got going again and stopped at the first place we found, which happened to be a gas station out in the middle of nowhere with bars on the door and windows. I’m not brave about things like that. We did some more cleaning and arranging and said a quick prayer. The rest of the drive home was uneventful except for some tears (mine and Boochie’s).

Once at home, the four of us happily piled into our beds. I was so ready for a good night’s sleep. As happens a lot in our house, I ended up in bed with Boochie. I was ok with that; I’ve learned to sleep peacefully while cramped in a twin bed with a bed hogging two year old. I was dreaming sweet dreams when daddy came and woke me up with “We need you, he’s throwing up now”. And so it continued….

It wasn’t our best weekend to say the least. In fact, it was the kind of weekend that made us question ourselves as parents. It gave us a whole new perspective on the “should we have another baby” debate that is never ending between us. Our current answer: NO! But, we’re so happy and blessed to have the children that we do have…fits and all. Could we do with a little less clean up duty? Of course! But we wouldn’t trade these years with our kids for anything in the world.